Saturday, December 19, 2009

two thousand and nine.

I'm ready to say bye bye to '09.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us..." Dickens

I definitely had a growth spurt this year.

From being Content. Married. Workaholic. School-aholic.

And then all of a sudden, not being able to get somebody else out of my head.

I was having dreams about him.

It was then that I became aware of what my life, my love, my everything was lacking.

And there was no turning back.

My best friend stole my heart.

& we risked it all....

And it definitely came with it's hardship.

Like I was Hester Prynne, with a scarlet A across my chest.

It wasn't easy living on my own.

It wasn't easy hearing the whispers of those that were once my friends.

Ken and I were definitely alienated at times.


It wasn't easy when we lost our baby, also.



All these changes definitely put myself through a roller coaster ride.

And only led to...

A new perspective.

A new start.

Hello, 2010.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

obliterated.

"her heart is obliterated. i'm trying to travel through but it's like moving mountains. it's like moving mountains. hey, but i keep climbing and hoping things would change. then the sky turns gray and the water from the rain washes progress away..."

most days, i believe i'm suppose to live my life alone.

i have a big heart. but i have a bigger guard.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

oscar wilde.

"it is absurb to divide people into good or bad. people are either charming or tedious."

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

washignton.

i'm feeling like seattle weather.

Monday, November 30, 2009

stuck in reverse.

maybe it's the other way around.

maybe it's not that i want to let go of all responsibilities
but that i need to start being responsible.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

i feel defeated.

it's like i'm fifteen all over again,
and i don't know a damn thing.

i want to be a crab, a turtle, a...
and just hide inside of my shell.

i want to be invisible.

i don't want these responsibilities.

i'm not ready.

i'm still not ready...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

H.A.T.E.U. - MC

"sorry, the frustration's got me feeling awake.
and i just keep having one last thing to say."